We traveled to STT with 4 of our friends this past June. We had such a great time. We had traveled together before and our group is a "do your own thing" kind of group. If you want to do something you do it. If you don't want to do something you don't. We usually decide on a couple of activities we all want to do in advance (boat trip to BVI, ferry to STJ, etc.) The rest of the time we just go with it. We had 2 cars which enabled people to travel in different directions. If we went somewhere and wanted company you invited everyone to go along. If you wanted some alone time you just said hey we are heading here and we'll see you in a couple of hours. I also gave everyone fair warning about the airport and the island time way. I don't think anyone was surprised by anything and we all enjoyed ourselves!

My husband and I had been to St. Thomas once before, so we had some experience with the island. We also went down a couple of days in advance and stayed a couple of days longer. I loved it. I am guessing they all did because we are all going again next summer.

We also tried to decide if we really needed 2 cars. From the posts I've recently read I see how important that can be. So I'll let our group know what has happen to others. I am sure we will end up with 2 cars. It really saves very little money to get a van vs. 2 full size cars.

OK there was a very good thread on this on the "other" forum that I saved for future reference as we may be in a similar situation with good suggestions from RickG, Coden and others.

Applies mostly to group travel to villas, but some no doubt apply to traveling with another newbie couple. Here are some highlights:

- Don't invite anyone who is a whiner. Don't invite anyone that you would not spend a week with 1-on-1.

- I pick the villa and the week and people get to decide if they want to come. It's okay if no one wants to come.

- You get to pick your room in the order that you pay. I've already paid the deposit, so I go first. This deals with the equal rooms problem.

- One vehicle per 2 couples with at least one person from each couple on the contract for each car. Expect there to be an early group and a late group each morning. This is not a problem. I get my own vehicle. I'm in the early group and my lover is in the late group.

- Pick a beach each day that you will hit, 11AM is a good rendezvous time. The late group can usually make it and the early group will have done a hike and another beach already.

- Do happy hour at the villa. It's cheap and 6-8 people is a party. Bring Twister.

- Dinner for 6-8 can be a pain in the a$$. Cook at the villa and do some date nights. Meet for drinks before and after dinner. There's always room at the Beach Bar and the Quiet Mon for 6-8.

- Expect to spend a day without leaving the villa. Start the blender at 10AM, but put sunscreen on first.

- Put $100 per person in a food/drink kitty for villa provisions. If someone is concerned that they won't spend that much and want differential treatment, they don't get to come. $800 will cover food and booze at the villa for 8 adults for a week. Dinner for 8 at Zozo's is $680.

Lessons learned:
- If someone whines at home, they will whine more on STJ.
- If someone pitches in at home they will pitch in more on STJ.
- 10 people feels much bigger than 8 people.
- Don't be afraid to say "I'm heading out. I'll be back for sunset."
- Newbies will assume the villa is on the beach, even if you tell them otherwise and show them pictures. If they can't get over this, they stay at the Westin.

>>I would like to add that if the living room has a pull out sofa couch that you DO NOT rent that out as one of the bedrooms. It is imperative that the Living Area be kept clear of sleepers. This way the "early risers" don't have to tip-toe around sleepers.

>>Also, as far as picking bedrooms, we number each bedroom and then one person from each couple picks a number and that is their bedroom. No squabbles ever happen this way because it is fair, and, as we are all ultimately paying the same price, split evenly, then each couple should have the same chance for the better room, if there is one.

>>Oh, also, if the only extra bathroom is in the master bedroom...then that bathroom is fair game during day light and evening hours...BUT, at night, after that couple has retired to their room, and the door is closed, then that bathroom is closed.

>>One thing that we make clear when going on vacation with other couples is that we also like our private time and that it is okay if we are not all stuck together at the hips. It is okay for everyone to do what they want to do. Of course, we are on vacation together so we do most things together, but it is not written in stone that we have to. And, it is okay for one person, or a couple, or whomever, when invited to go to dinner, or a certain beach, or a club, or whatever, to say Nah, I think I'm/we are doing this instead...could just be hanging at the pool with a book, all alone - but that is okay.

>>I whole heartedly agree about the whiners...if they are whiners ( or high maintenance) at home, they will be whiners ( or high maintenance) on vacation and for me, that is no vacation, so they don't get invited.

>>Last time we went with one other couple who turned out to be completely compatible with our style. For our next trip we're inviting one additional couple that we THINK we know well enough to trust. One of my criteria in selecting villas from which to choose was that the bedrooms had to be equal. I just wanted to avoid that issue altogether. I've already given them the "It's vacation, everyone does whatever they want to do," speech, and we're getting two vehicles for three couples. Loved Rick's guidelines, and I'm definitely going to implement the group kitty idea (I'm the trip planner, and last time the other couple seemed to truly appreciate the effort, which was nice). We'll be having the pre-trip party to remind everyone of the ground rules; now I just wish it would hurry up and get here!

Great Advice! Thanks!

EL: An interesting question but seems to me that KK's thoughts are right on target and that ground "rules" need to be seriously discussed from the get-go so that everyone is on the same page and that undiscussed issues don't turn the trip into a bad experience.

Years ago I excitedly accepted an invitation to sail the Grenadines for a week with a friend whose brother and a couple of his friends would be sailing to Grenada from Trinidad on his sizable yacht. I was really caught up with the whole idea of exploring another part of the Caribbean and obviously didn't ask any relevant questions because from the moment we arrived in Grenada from STT, the trip for me turned into a nightmare!

The boat was indeed large but equipped for racing, not comfort. The sparse "living quarters" stunk of diesel and my sailing companions drank constantly from early morning until late at night. We visited some beautiful islands but, rather than anchoring in pristine bays, the boat ended up parking in murky, bustling main harbours to enable easy access to the closest bars. And of course on a boat you're truly stuck and can't exactly go tootling off on your own when the only ship to shore transportation is a dinghy which is solely used to get to shore and remains there until the bars close in the early morning!

I made the best of it and there WERE two out of the seven days which were really enjoyable, one when we joined some of their friends and had delicious "baked in the sand" fresh-caught barracuda at a remote little paradise off Petit St Vincent and the other when we spent a day with other friends at their home on St Lucia.

But I was never more happy to finally leave and vowed never again to readily accept any such invitation unless I knew exactly what I was getting into!

Obviously your situation is quite different - but as KK says, get those ground rules and expectations set from the beginning. And the two-car idea is a great one, at least for the first couple of days. Cheers!

It helps if you know what kind of traveler you, yourself, are. After inviting various friends to tag along and share the hotel bill, I've learned that me-myself-I am not flexible enough to accommodate them. My sister is now the only "friend" I travel with and we have a ball - seems we're similarly inclined and share the same inflexibilities.

jmcq~

Hysterically funny and sound, sound advice! Been there...done that. I subscribe to all of it!!! I am the unofficial "tour guide" of our brood! Thanks for the laugh!

220 & Counting...

We would love to find some like-minded folks for travel companions. I see so many nice cottages and villas, in the USVI and elsewhere, that are only affordable if shared. My biggest fear would be that we were stuck for a week with the Bickersons - the constant battle for control.

When we went with our 9, I ended up being the tour guide. That meant, picking the villa (along with a good price), getting good airfares, figuring out where to go, where to eat, what to do, setting up the boat trip to the BVI's, suggesting what food to freeze and bring, etc.

Let me tell you....it's a big job because I felt if ANYTHING wasn't just right, it was my fault.

It was our best friends who went with us, so we were comfortable with them because we had been away with them before on trips.

My suggestion is to get everyone involved in the trip planning and NOT leave it up to one person. I'd love to go away and not have to worry about anything besides handing over some money for the trip.

When my family of 28 went on a cruise, I was the "tour guide". (they called me "Julie" from the Love Boat!) anyhow, on a cruise its easy for everyone to do their own thing - even the teens. When going to STT, it was just me, hubby, and a couple that we've been friends with for 100 years and they are like my brother/sister to me. Hubby and I are early risers, they were not but never was it a problem (staying at Secret Harbour where I could just go on out and grab a chair while they sleep) We all like to do pretty much the same things, and we are close enough with each other to say "hey we're going to have some alone time - see ya later" and it wouldn't hurt any feelings. I don't think I could travel with couples that are just "acquaintances" and not best friends.

I'm kind of the tour guide for our upcoming girls trip to Aruba, made reservations for room for me and best friend, along with our flights, then told everyone else "this is when, where, and how we're going - do what you have to do to get there!" I'm not putting airfare/rooms on my card for the entire group that way. If it turns out its just my friend and I - so be it, its their loss! haha.

These recent trips are really the only experience I have with traveling with "friends" because we are just now at the point that we can travel without children. When we had younger children, I couldn't relish the thought of traveling with more childeren! yikes! In fact we did do that once - rented a house on the beach in South Carolina - 6 kids under age 11 - nightmare! Those are not vacations - just entertainment for the kids! I also remember there being a little tension in the air about whether to eat out or cook in. I'm all about eating out when on vacation - except for maybe breakfast/lunch. But certainly not all meals!

One of these days I want to rent a villa somewhere (STJ would be great - or one of those on Jost would be wonderful) and bring our grown boys and maybe a couple of their friends (maybe not) but not soon. I'm enjoying a little "me" time now!

We have extended vacations with fluctuating #s of friends/guests that come and go as their vacation time allows. At some point we do end up with as many as 8 friends/guests for some period of time. JMCQ's list is right on spot. Those that mentioned the subtle (but significant!) difference between 6 and 8 or 8 and 10 = many and TOO MANY. We always have 2 - 3 Pre-trip meetings to discuss the "rules" and make sure everyone has the CORRECT expectations - these are usually also fun get-togethers and build excitement among the gang of the upcoming trip. And, we always do a highlevel meal planning where each couple is assigned host/hostess duty for a dinner or appetizers @villa at least one evening (we don't assign specific evenings to individuals as we have an informal "Captain's meeting" on the deck each morning where we enjoy our coffee, talk about the day unfolding and at that time we leisurely decide what to pull out of the freezer and who's going to be the host/hostess. (So, it's not stressful/pressure-ized and develops into quite a natural "pattern" each morning - re-living/laughing about the day/night before and then moving slowly into the next day)). When it's time for evening, anyone in the gang should offer and take direction from 'volunteer' host/hostess-for-the-evening and help with the meal/appetizers preparation. The host/hostess who is responsible for the meal on their evening are relieved of the responsibility for helping to clear table and cleaning up afterwards.

Breakfast and lunch - it's in the fridge or at the restaurent. Everyone in our house is "on their own" because none of us want the stress or obligation of being up at certain time for breakfast and by the time lunch is happening - everyone is off doing their thing. First coffee drinker out of bed makes the coffee. Person who pours the last drip into their cup makes the next pot.

We've never been successful in the "kitty" for provisioning. I dunno.....we've tried numerous times / different methods but just cannot get it to work.

Before we became "landlubbers" on Water Island, we chartered bareboats from CYC (now VIP) out of Benner Bay. One of our best friends brought a cute little hottie. This girl never helped prepare, cook or clean-up-after meals - that was ok sort of but still rubbed the rest of us hardworking sailor girls the wrong way. While Hottie sunned herself on the deck in the morning, the rest of us ran around closing hatches, stowing, securing and pulling anchor/releasing mooring ball - making ready to get underway - Hottie girl would get up only to move to someplace where she could get "better" sun and wouldn't be "bothered" by all this activity. And, she would leave the box of juice (usually grape) and her towel on the deck to spill and/or blow off into the water - which we would then have to clean up and stop, get in the dinghy or turn the boat around to gaff/hook the floating beach towel. Each day she would don all her dive gear, stay in the water for 5 minutes, then take her soaking wet dive suit/skin off in the middle of the galley, then take a 20 minute shower - after which she would "borrow" a towel from someone else's cabin because all her towels were a stinky/musty damp pile left there from the previous 20 minute showers. 3 days into the month-long voyage, we ran out of water. Upon hearing this announcement, Hottie told the guy that brung her that she would NOT stand for such inconvenience and demanded that he immediately turn the boat to shore and drop her off at the nicest hotel available. We trimmed those sails and made way fast back to STT where our friend put her Hottie-ness in a taxi along with a return trip ticket to the continental US.

I know we're talking about villas but I'm sure lots of us have similar horror stories whether on land or sea. Choose your travel companions well!

lol..FL...high maintenance that is. I'd give anything to be able to replace her on that trip.

We have included up to 10 other good friends on our annual trip to St. John for the last three years. We too, always have at least 2 planning meetings, where we provide packets (maps, restaurant info, taxi info, hints about behavior/manners 🙂 etc.) so that everyone feels comfortable doing their own thing if they choose. We also make sure that we show lots of pictures so that everyone understands that there is a great deal of difference between the island and our little, crowded, walk to everything, access anything you want, little beach towns. Our fellow travelers are all single, very used to the "bar/club" scene and this was hubby and my biggest concern. Would some be bored? Want more of a resort style vaca? We now have 10 converts and more people who want to join us!!!!!
That being said, I think the most helpful thing for us was the fact that we have already spent many weekends sharing houses or boats or campers with every person in the groups. This gave us a lot of background knowledge about who was "high maintenance" (she gets first shower), who doesn't eat meat on a bone (separate dinner plan for her when everyone else wants Joe's ribs!) etc. etc. The key is being veerrry flexible;-) When all was said and done, our greatest difficulty on all of the trips was that no one wanted to separate from the group and it's darn hard to get 10 people out the door - it's like trying to heard cats! It's also frequently difficult to get seated in a restaurant - but that's why they all have bars! Doesn't matter how long you have to wait as long as the blender doesn't burn up:-)

Great thread!!!

Oh - we too have tried various methods of purchasing common food stuffs at the market. At our initial planning meetings we try to nail down personal must haves - I call them the "I hate mayonnaise, must have Miracle Whip" issues. If there is something that only one person wants - they are in charge of bringing it with them, if at all possible. If not they pay for it. If many/most want it - it goes on the list - final bill to be split by all. We also try to divvy up some easy things to pack that everyone can share. One person brings a box of Poptarts, one brings a can of Pringles, one brings a plastic jar of jelly, one brings coffee, one brings sweetner - you get the idea. This really does help with $$ and decreases the amount of things that get half used and then thrown away.

Another hint - When everyone goes to the store- total bill multiplies like crazy - everyone sees something they have to have. Having only a couple of people go has worked out best for us- nobody misses what they didn't see:-)

There can be issues when out to dinner as well. Our group is very financially diverse. We eat all dinners out, so we need to be careful that every dinner isn't over the top for some. Those fabulous foo-foo drinks at Morgan's Mango can really put a hurtin' on a wallet when you just have to try them all! We generally do one or two "nicer" meals and the rest we wing it - relying on Joe's, Woodies, Skinny Legs etc. We also try to make it a practice to ask for separate checks from the get go, and if that's not possible, pass the bill around and rely on the honor system. If you ate it - you pay:-) This works best for us, avoiding bruised feelings from the "he had prime rib and 8 bushwackers but I only had a burger and a coke" discussion.

Although I hope this thread continues, as it is very humorous, we have made our decision to go it "alone". This is a special occasion and I've convinced hubby that it is not a trip to "break in" newbies. We have travelled with close friends when our children were small (now in mid 20's), and it was great company for all kids and fun for us adults to be kids! Now that we are empty nesters, traveling is different. We may try a week on a Lake Powell houseboat with our close friends. If we all can survive that, then off to the islands we go!

Ooooh... Lake Powell is great! That's the one trip where I went with a group of people who were my brother's friends. We had 3 houseboats of families, kids and a nanny. Since I was my brother's guest, I didn't have to do any planning. But not wanting to be a "princess" or get stuck with kitchen duty, I gladly learned how to operate the vessel and serve as first mate. I'd love to go back as just a twosome one day.........

FL Barrier Islander,

Great story! Reminds me of "The Four Seasons" (partly shot on location at Hawksnest Beach, by the way). If you haven't seen the movie, you should rent it. It's a little dated, but I'm sure it'll bring back memories!!

Just curious...did "the guy who brung the hottie" continue on with you or go with her when she left?

WW

Woogawooga, I have seen the movie.......and, lived the sequel (smile). "The guy who brung the hottie" did indeed continue on with us and he had a great time!