Saturday, June 17th

Before I begin this chapter, I'd like to sincerely thank everyone who has been reading about and enjoying our adventures. If at least one person "gets" me, then I've accomplished my goal. My girlfriend Sheila calls me a gypsy and I love it! To reminisce is to glow. Told ya my peeps were funny!

The itch is down to about a 2 on the richter scale. Right the hells on!!! I neglected to tell everyone at the beginning of my report that after careful consideration, we decided not to schlep our own hunks of meat on this trip. Don't know why I told you that, it just popped into my head. You also may be happy to know that I did not obsess about weather reports or Kenny Chesney before we left and for all you high maintenance princess type girls out there (and you know who you are), NOBODY (including me) wears makup while vacationing in St. John and it's ok cause you just blend with the normal people. This of course excludes the freak of nature Sports Illustrated, Victoria's Secret swimsuit model I busted Honey eyeballing while walking around Warfside Village. He was trying to be all sly about it thinking I wouldn't notice. Yeah right. She had on eyelash extentions for God sakes (hey, I'm gonna have to keep that in mind for next trip). Seriously though, I can't remember the last time my reflection could breathe in this much fresh air. It feels gooooood!

Psycho Rooster is at it again this morning and we again had breakfast in the villa. Are you noticing a pattern here? Honey was starting to get bit**y about all the provisions we weren't eating so to prevent further obnoxiousness, we feasted on oatmeal, toast and juice. I don't think I've mentioned that by this point I'm having serious withdrawal symtoms from a lack of my beloved Carmel Frappachinos and Chicken Enchiladas. Graduate Girl and I were in want of a sand and seawater pedicure, Lizzard Boy wants to snorkel and Honey just wants to sleep so it's another beach day! We filled the beach bag with snacks, grabbed the water jugs and headed out again to the North Shore.

Francis Bay was our 1st destination of choice and we drove over and parked at the end of the dirt road half in and half out of the bush. Francis is a calm, beautiful beach with a calm serenity about it that I didn't quite feel anywhere else. It puts me in that same state just writing about it so forgive me if I can't be cute and humorous in this paragraph here people. Don't you think it's cool that every beach is so unique that it carries it's own special vibe? We layed out the tinfoil after bathing in 30 spf sunblock, grabbed our gear and went straight in for a snorkel. Rash Boy was the first one in and was whinig again about his rash and how the snorkel vest strap irritated it but as soon as he began his swim out to the rocks, he transformed and became mesmerized. We all thought the snorkeling at Francis was pretty good. I can't remember what we saw and we're not that great with some of the names of the different fish species but we stayed out for a long while and enjoyed every minute of it. We took lots of pictures, wrote messages in the sand and basically layed like broccoli for the next few hours. We decided to pack up and head over to Maho for a chill. Lizard Boy was bent cause he wasn't done snorkeling. I told him to zip his pie hole as he could have another snorkel at Maho. Franics ended up being his personal favorite beach.

We parked the Jeep after arriving at Maho and walked the 5 steps to the beach. Maho is also a nice calm beach and I can see why this is the beach of preference for families with young children. Graduate Girl had had enough snorkeling for the day so she decided that some serious chill time was in order. I don't think the girl moved a miniscule amount while floating on the blowup mattress in the water for at least an hour. I had to check and see if she was still breathing. Honey was napping while I played frisbe with my little man and afterward myself and the Lizard Boy went for a snorkel. I was floating along in a state of complete and total relaxation when they call me Mr. Barracuda whom happened to be the size of my 8 year old son arrived to make his presence known. I swear he was a 4 foot long in your face very scary sharptooth. He also happened to be in my face. Inches from my face, checking me out as if to say "you want a piece of me?" No thank you very much, I'll just be on my way! I felt like I'd just been shocked with a stun gun. Couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't swim. Total paralyzation. It was the biggest Barracuda I have ever seen and I think that's was shocked me into momentary stupification. He started to swim away which threw me back into safe mode and I excitedly popped my head up and bellowed to Lizard Boy if he saw it. In the middle of my brainwave lapse, I had no idea where my kid was. The bellow woke Honey and he plowed into the water where both he and Nickie desperately tried to chase him down. The freaks. No luck though.

Ok, so Im done snorkeling now but Lizard Boy is in the zone (just call him Snorkel Bob) so he cons Honey into going for a snorkel with him. They snorkeled all the way to the right and then all the way almost to the end of the bay. I started having a panic attack thinking that my little man might get caught in a current or worse; labeled as prey by they call me Mr. Barracuda so I yelled for Honey to bring him back in closer to the shore. Lizard Boy was in his element as they saw various species of fish, urchins, Sea Cucumbers, Fan Coral and more. Remember when I said Honey's proud moment was watching the Wild Child hammer that waverunner? Well mine was watching my son open his eyes and really discover and feel a part of the majesty and wonder of the life he's been given here on earth. Ok, so I had a moment, thanks for listening. I must have been a glutton for punishment as the water was luring me like a lodestone to go for a swim. There was some teenage boys that were sweetly annoyed that I was swimming in their personal space while they were throwing a ball around. One of them says "man, I could go for some quesadillas, taquitos and enchiladas right now. That did it. I pretty much moan in ecstasy then ran around packing up our crap while yelling for everyone to come out of the water RIGHT NOW! Betcha can't guess where we're going?

We swabbed ourselves up as best we could and drove straight to the first mexican joint we found. Margarita Phils. I knew Polli's was down the street but my mouth was watering so bad that I couldn't wait another minute! We were seated right away and Honey and I immediately ordered a grande Margarita. I thought it was pretty average as I am the Margarita queen but I happily slurped it down anyway. The buzz was a bonus. Honey ordered a plate of Nachos, I ordered the Chiken Enchilada, Graduate Girl ordered Beef Tacos and Lizard Boy ordered Chicken Nuggets with Rice and Beans. In case you don't know by now, Lizard Boy is not a picky eater and this was no exception. He inhaled his plate including all the black beans pretty much before I even had a chance to scope it out. Graduate Girl was complaining cause there was no lettuce on her Tacos and she didn't end up getting any either. They were out. We all know the story here. She ate one taco and said it was just ok. The Chicken Enchiladas that I had been salivating over? They were liquidy. I don't mean saucy, I mean liquidy. It's the only description I can give you. I've never had liquidy enchiladas before. I was a little disappointed and so I started picking at Honey's Nachos. They were just ok. Graduate Girl felt sorry for me so she offered me the other taco that she wasn't going to touch and I ate that. Now people, for a Sushi loving girl I don't consider myself picky in the least but it was just ok. The whole lunch was just ok. I think we also had some Reeces pie or Snickers pie, I know it was some kind of candy pie. It was ok. Cost of lunch here was $100. My opinion only but overpriced for underwhelming mexican food. Next time we'll try Polli's.

After lunch we decided to hit Hawksnest for an afternoon swim. HEAVENLY is all I can say. This was my ultimate favorite beach on St. John! It's also Graduate Girl's pick for her favorite beach. It's lovely in the extreme. Everything about it from the sand to the water to the slope and curve. Simply breathtaking and it just feels damn good! It's a feel good beach. Like I said, Trunk will always hold a special place in my heart but Hawksnest IS the Bikini Girl's beach and next trip I'll spend a lot more quality time there. Snorkel Bob hit the tube again and I mostly swam in the crystal waters. Honey decided to nap while the Graduate Girl baked. After Honey's nap, we decided to roll up and head back to the villa. On our way out, we ran into Honey's fave St. Jonian, Moe from Skinny's. Hawksnest is also his favorite beach and Honey had him regale him with the continuation of a story from lunch the day before. Gotta love Moe!

Holy ship this is getting long! Sorry about the long wind-ing. Almost done; promise. We stopped in town for a look see at the vendor tents and Everyting. Graduate Girl found a beaded banana bark necklace that she had to have and then we walked over to Everyting. They have some really nice stuff in there and much to Honey's chagrin, yes I again had a contribution for the local economy. This is the point where Graduate Girl starts whining about not doing any shopping yet. HELLO! What in the hells are we doing right now then? While she proceeded to whine, Lizard Boy suddenly remembers "the magic stones." Why me? As we were at the counter ringing up our purchases, I asked the lady if she know where I might find these mystical rocks. She looked at me like I had two heads and said no. Nickie's lip started to hang and I promised him that we'd keep looking. As we were walking out, the sales lady stopped us and said "do they have the blue glass in the middle?" YES!!! She tells me I can find them at Donald Schnell's and directs me where to find him. We had plans to stop in there tomorrow and get the damn rocks.

Back at the villa the kids went for a swim while we had munchies and drinks and vegged out with a video. Another perfect day in paradise. Next up, Day of the Dinghy. More to come...