I may be wrong, but your wording makes me guess that based on the replies to your post you may try to talk the bride out of the heavy gown. Remember, most brides lack common sense during the entire wedding-planning phase. It's difficult not to when they are planning what they perceive as the most amazing, magical day of their lives. If you put yourself in her shoes, having found the perfect dress in which to marry the perfect man...a dress that makes her feel stunningly beautiful....a dress that will be plastered on every wedding photograph and memory for the rest of her life...if you were in her shoes imagining all of this perfection, would you want anyone to talk you out of it? Trust me, regardless of what a perfect relationship you may have with your future daughter-in-law, you don't want to go there. If you were to talk her out of her dream dress and she didn't find a lighter-weight gown with which she was more enthralled, she might be regretful for years to come.

That being said, I will attempt to answer your question. Where does your future d-i-l reside? Is it humid during the summers, is it dreadfully warm? I live in San Diego and have a very difficult time with the St John heat and humidity. When the sun goes down it's not horrible for me, though. I imagine that if I lived in a warmer climate I might find it more tolerable. However, I'm very fair skinned, burn easily, overheat easily, etc. If she adapts well to heat, then she just might be fine in a heavy dress.

Really, no matter which gown she chooses, she might get a little sweaty or sticky. Hopefully she is avoiding any sleeves (since most gowns seem to be strapless now, I'm guessing she is) and a long train. If you're truly concerned for her, rather than suggest she forego the heavy gown, perhaps suggest she consider a second gown...even if it means re-arranging her budget a bit. Tell her you love the heavy gown, she looks beautiful, and that it might be a good idea to look for a second gown just in case it feels too warm on the day of. She could always get married in one gown and go to the reception in the other. Just keep this positive because these are really her decisions to make and she probably wants to feel very supported in them, even if nobody agrees with her.

Another suggestions might be to give her some time to take a quick shower between the ceremony and reception....just to wash off her body....in case she got a little sweaty. To be honest, I'd probably be pretty hot in a heavier gown, but I'd still try to wear it if I loved it that much.

Sunset is still very warm and another consideration - is the marriage taking place on a beach? If so, you might want to bear in mind that being on a beach at sunset is right when the no-see-ums and sand fleas proliferate and they can be HUGELY annoying. An early morning beach ceremony is much more enjoyable. Best of luck and hope you have a wonderful visit. Can't help you with the wedding dress packing query but whatever your d-i-l chooses to wear, maybe the store she buys it from can pack it so that she can bring it as carry-on? Cheers.

Hot, Hot, Hot and sticky in June even at sunset, and depending on how much rain we have had how the mosquitos are doing - so think of having to wear repelent at that time of day especially if you are on the beach as the no see ums can be brutal not sure how that would feel in a heavy satin gown.

Things to consider - how will she get it here?? - will there be room to carry it on the plane as it probably won't go in her luggage so will it fit in the overhead as you can't guarantee it will be able to be "hung" in the first class (unless you are in first class 🙂 )

Is she getting married on the beach?? difficult in a "heavy" gown with the sand etc (hopefully no train or long veil as I've seen so many bride with the veil wrapped all around them when the wind blows 🙂 )

Here is a link to a photographers portfolio to give you an idea as to what "most" brides choose when looking for an island wedding gown.

Good luck.

http://www.paradisepictures.vi/weddingportfolio_web/

Pia

I may be biased b/c I got married on May 29 at 1pm in St. Thomas at Blackbeard's castle and I had a formal gown...it wasnt huge, but it was fitted and had only a small train. I also made my husband wear a tux. The ceremony only lasted 7 mins and the pictures turned out WONDERFUL!! But we are from Atlanta so we are fine with the heat and humidity. If she is like I was on my wedding day, she'll be so happy that she wont know/care how hot it is!

You know, I'm such an idiot. If I'd been smart, we'd have gotten married in the islands. But that was almost 11 years ago, and we were poor college students. *sigh* I always joke with my husband that the next time I get married, it will be in the USVI. 😉

Anyway, I think that your DIL should wear what she wants, but that doesn't mean you can't suggest something that may be more "suitable" for the weather/beach, etc. The islands are more casual, so I'd think she could find a gorgeous, simple dress without all the froo froo. Like that link you posted...lots of beautiful dresses, but more on the simple side. I'd think the hassle of a big dress with the climate, bugs, sand, etc. would be a pain. If she were getting married someplace on the island that wasn't on the beach, it probably wouldn't be as big of a deal. I also love the idea of a cute halter and sarong for the most casual beach wedding. There are gorgeous simple dresses too. I think there are so many things to do that will be so nice. The flow-y dresses that just tie around the neck and are ankle-length are cute too. I haven't thought about this much, can you tell?! 😉 LOL

Here's a good beach wedding site for info
http://weddings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Beach_Wedding_Dresses

But in the end, it is up to her. Hopefully she'll chose something that won't be a hassle for her so she can enjoy her day. Have fun at the upcoming wedding! 🙂

My and hubby got married in Jamaica in October, which is very much the same T's and humidity as the VI's. I wore a (what I thought was) lighter weight spaghetti-strapped, flowy, calf-length, gown made of light -weight chiffon. But it had a heavy satin lining. The wedding on the beach was at 4 pm. With nerves and the humidity, I was seating profusely and damn near fainted by the time the ceremony was over (quick - - 15 min) and 15-20 min of pictures. I had to cut the pics short and get into an air-conditioned room ASAP or else I was going to 1) throw up and/or 2) faint. Either of which isn't a good option on one's wedding day!! DO NOT underestimate the heat/humidity, especially in the VI's in June. She is going to swelter, and be sweaty and miserable, in a heavy gown.

Whatever you choose (hopefully a lighter weight), the airlines will let you carry it on board in a garment bag and will put it in one of their first class closets during the flight. Better to carry on than take the risk of losing luggage in transit!

Have fun!!

A couple of years ago charter boat friends of mine took out a wedding party to a small otherwise deserted island where the couple had decided to be married. The bride was wearing a beautiful gown. It did get wet as she waded onto shore from the boat but that wasn't an issue as she already knew that would happen.

Anyway, the wedding went off without a hitch and when all was done the newlyweds waded back into the water followed by their entourage. The groom gallantly ascended the ladder first to get back on board and then turned to assist his wife. Just as she was half way up the ladder, a gust of wind blew her gown up over her head.

She wasn't wearing any underwear... Cheers!

I got married in Nov in STT at Secret Harbour a 4pm. It was sweltering. I did have a formal gown sleeveless with a full long bottom. It would be a dress you can wear a real nice wedding in the states in the summer.

I flew first class so I was assured closed space in the first class cabin. If you fly coach they cannot guareentee they will be able to fit it in the closet.

I would'nt start meddling in her plans - at least wait till she's married.

he groom gallantly ascended the ladder first to get back on board and then turned to assist his wife. Just as she was half way up the ladder, a gust of wind blew her gown up over her head.

She wasn't wearing any underwear... Cheers!

heehee! Oops! 😉

That picture should of made a good one for the wedding alblum

Being a wedding coordinator,
I see dresses of all types and believe it or not, A LOT are very formal!

I agree with those above, DON'T MEDDLE!!! 🙂 This is up to the bride to decide and no matter how hot and sweaty she may get, she is wearing what she chooses! The time is not that long.
As for carrying it, most brides (or grooms) hand carry it on the plane. It will get there in one pc. even if it does get a little squinched up!
Remember whose wedding this is!!! I did a wedding for a bride who was planning a formal wedding in the states, her mom meddled too much so she canceled her stateside wedding and came down here - JUST the 2 of them, and got married with OUT family! 🙂
Let her make her own desicions, if she wants help or advice, THEN offer your advice!

Is she using a wedding planner on island? I would think that a wedding planner would be the person to make suggestions (isn't that part of the job?) on what kinds of dresses she has seen work (or not) and why.

I am getting married May 17th at Gallows...

I also have a "heavy" wedding gown. My intial thoughts were to find a simple, airy dress- however when I tried this dress on I fell in love. I am worried about the heat- but I dont care too much considering I bought the dress!!!

However, I do have a simple casual dress to change into after the ceremony! I just hope the pictures look beautiful!

If I were you, I would make suggestions, but hopefully your DIL will do what she wants, as its her wedding!

Either way its going to be a beautiful day for you and your family!

I would try to talk her out of the dress. I got married in Jan. on STT. on the beach, I had a halter style full length dress. When it came time for pictures I was in the water. The pictures turned out great, but try to walk in a gown that is wet and very heavy! I think she should talk to a wedding planner, you don't want her passing out from the heat! Good Luck!!

She will probably be disgustingly hot and sweaty - but I am guessing that she is a grown up and do you really want to be known as the meddling mother in law. My advice would be to back off and enjoy the day - eat plenty, smile a lot and worry about whether or not your drees is going to be cool enough and make sure you have plenty of bug repellent in your purse.

I am getting married on STJ in July and I fully expect it to be blazing hot and humid, so while my dress is still full legnth, it's a lighter non synthetic fabric that is flowy. Nicole Miller, she has GREAT destination wedding gowns.. very beachy, but still georgous. If she already has the dress, don't bring it up. If not, maybe mention to her that you saw some really beautiful dresses on a certain website or something. Don't suggest, just mention. Good luck!

Please know that I am not meddling. She invited me to go dress shopping both days with her and we had a great time. Our intention was to get the lighter weight dress, but none had the wow factor for her, you could see it in her face. The second day after many more try ons she found this dress and was beaming, looked gorgeous in it and we agonized over it. This is actually her second wedding, my son's first. There was 1 other one that she liked almost as much but just as heavy. I actually bought the dress, tiara and veil for her that day but got a call on my cell from her on the way home that SHE was having second thoughts which then gave me second thoughts.
We decided to try to get some opinions, we did put it out there to the wedding planner who said 50% of her brides wear formal gowns. So I begged her to take another dress with her just to know she has something else to wear if she's sweltering after the wedding, she's going to wear the train on a band around her wrist instead of bustling it and she's willing to put up with the discomfort because she loves it so much. Plus I was hoping they would choose an air conditioned restaurant for their dinner which they didn't.
I try very hard not to meddle in their lives, and it's not fair cause I have 3 sons so I never get to be "the mom". But this was a practical issue that she had actually brought up herself. I played devils advocate to a point, when I saw that point was no longer wanted I backed off.
So the issue is solved, she loves the dress, it fit her beautifully, it was a great price so she's going with it. Now to find a bug spray that doesn't stain or stink too much. Thanks to everyone for your great input. I love this board. This will be our first trip to St John and we are really excited. My husband and I are renewing our vows for our 25th while we are down there (with the encouragement of the bride and groom and on a different day)

mominlaw,
You sound very understanding and supportive! Congratulations to YOU as well!

mominlaw: you sound terrific! Enjoy your stay here!