OK this will be the shortest trip report known to this board, but I am compelled to share! My husband and I have been to the VI's four times in the past three years, but this go-round we decided to take a (don't stop reading, please) Caribbean CRUISE due to good timing out of San Juan and a highly affordable price. I know, I know. I was one of those dreaded cruise ship passengers you all loathe. I sold my soul for a cheap cruise. At least I didn't wear black socks with sandals and stand in the middle of the sidewalk slack-jawed, however, so lay off! At any rate, we already knew the best port would be our beloved STT ahead of time. Especially thanks to my uber-planning for the day. German heritage you know. Can’t help it. I was determined to see as much as possible in the 10 hours we were at port on May 1st. Also we needed to show the natural beauty of the VI’s to our two fellow traveling friends. HA, who am I kidding? -- it was really about my need for a painkiller from Roxy's, Coronas at Soggy Dollar, walking along Trunk...Drunk. You get the idea. It's a vacation for God's sake.

Back to the uber-planning. Couldn't have worked out any better if I would have send just one more follow-up email. Hats off to our captain, Stuart Scott! One for tolerating my many emails prior to the trip. Two for being an AWESOME guide for the day. He picked us up at 7:30 am prompt at the WICO cruise ship dock. After a quick stop for those completely necessary amenities -- water, sunscreen, Bud Light, Mich Ultra, Coronas -- we made our way to Sapphire Beach Marina to pick up our pocket yacht for the day from Dan. After Dan and Stuart saved me from mortal embarrassment and a purely classic blonde moment when incorrectly filled out my nationality on the customs form (I SWEAR I had not yet been drinking), we were underway.

First stop Trunk Bay. We beat all the other cruise ship passengers there. HA! Snorkeling was bad that day due to the huge break. But oh well. Still 1,000X better than staring at the Mississippi here in STL. Time for my hubby's volley on a dumb move. Frolicking and diving in the water head-first with his brand new prescription sunglasses, where you ask? Well, that would be on his head. Of course. After accepting his Homer Simpson "doh" moment and resigned to leaving a part of himself at Trunk Bay -- by the time we walked back from the beach he happened upon them at the bottom of the bay when we were swimming back! Incredible. Quick tour of Maho to see if snorkeling was any better there. No, but no worries. Saw Kenny Chestney's OLD house. What a dump, poor guy 🙂 Then off to Jost. It's 10:30 am and it's time for a painkiller at Roxy's. Woo hoo. Shared some snacky-poo’s with the local beach dog. Part weiner dog and LOVES to dig for crabs. Very funny sand mustache. Also found something new at Jost that Stuart was unaware of and now will include as a crucial part of his tours -- a wooden statue of a monkey outside Roxy's with a very large, ahem, completely horizontal, er, anatomical feature. Wow! We then headed to Soggy Dollar for lunch. Awesome choice. After two painkillers at the previous stop and a couple beers at lunch - - life is good, pain is dead. Limin' at the beach for an hour and a half. My new favorite place in the world. It's now 2:00 and need to start maneuvering our way back. Another great beach for another time - - Sandy Bay (not Sandy Spit, which is yet another place). Picturesque deserted, small island with the bluest surrounding water you'll ever see! Stuart made one last attempt at good snorkeling at Watermelon (or is it Waterlemon? I forgot...been drinking you know). What a spot! Hubby saw a turtle. Great reef with many varieties of fish. Glad to hear of this place from ya’ll on the board. Got gas in Cruz Bay and checked back in with customs. Resisted intense desire to abandon cruise ship for early happy hour at Woody’s. Back at Sapphire Beach to turn in the boat. Second “doh” moment for my better half. He jumped in the water to rescue our misguided flipper. With WHAT in his pocket you ask? Our brand new digital camera. Luck was firmly on our side, though, as it worked by the time we arrived at Drake’s Seat for the most awesome pics of Magen’s Bay! Unbelievable. One last stop for some shots of Charlotte Amalie. It’s now 4:30, and we said our good-byes back at WICO. Carnival Destiny pulled away at 5:00. Perfect. Hot shower and a nice long nap for us after a truly perfect, awesomely planned, flawlessly executed day at the VI. I would highly recommend Stuart for any excursions or a wedding that you may be planning in the area. I almost divorced my hubby right then and there just so I could have the honor of Stuart marrying us again on Jost!

All right it indeed was not the shortest trip report on this board, but I hope you enjoyed it none-the-less. Back at work now, and my liver is in the very early stages of regeneration. Almost have my “land legs” back. Started perusing for deals on a return trip to STT/STJ.